Kiana Danial apparently has a husband. Sorry guys. But if you stick around, she’ll teach ya how to make your kids (and maybe even your kids’ kids) rich. We’ve been hypnotized to believe that getting a good education and working hard is how you get ahead. Kiana did that though. She became an electrical engineer and worked long hours. Despite this, she could barely keep her head above water. Now, today, she has an 8-figure brand and a portfolio that just keeps on growing.

“Through Invest Diva,” Kiana says, “it is my mission to help as many good people as possible get money in their hands so that we can change the world. Because no matter how much money I make, I’m not gonna be able to change the world all by myself. This needs to be a movement. And so that’s why I share and sell courses and coaching programs. And it’s already in motion; it has become a movement, but I need it to become an even bigger movement. I need to see money in the hands of more people.”

Okay, but how? What are we supposed to do? Please, school us, Kiana. “One of the easiest ways to do it,” she explains, “is to tell your story of how you turned your mess into your message. That’s why there’s no competition. I know that my story as an immigrant who came to America and then got a job, lost a job, didn’t have money to pay rent, all these things—that’s gonna relate to some people but not to other people. Right? So one thing I wanna submit to you is to expect more from yourself.”

“If you think about any great movement,” Kiana continues, “that is how it started. Someone took their mess and turned it into their message. Like one of the best things you can do right now is take responsibility. Like stop waiting for somebody else to come and fix the mess that you made. It is very easy to blame it on other people, to blame it on your mom or your dad or the government. ‘If you can learn to expect great things from yourself, eventually great things will come from yourself.’”

Invest Diva Greece

Alright, I’m 44 minutes into this video and I’ve yet to hear anything but cliches and analogies. Still waiting on that first secret to generational wealth, Kiana. Someone in the comments just called her a con artist. Another person said she’s living in a state of psychosis. Not gonna lie, based on what I’ve seen, I kinda agree. Like this chick is off her rocker. She just keeps talking and talking and saying absolutely nothing. Turn my mess into my message? Be accountable? I thought this was supposed to be investing advice.

“Write this down.” Oh God. Here we go. “Stop talking about your problems; start talking about your solutions. Because wherever your attention goes, your intention follows. So if your attention is always on complaints, that’s all you’re gonna see. But if your attention is on solutions, all the solutions are gonna start appearing. Now. Who taught you about money? And how much money do they have? Be careful who you learn from; someone can only teach you what they know how to do.”

Dude. What just happened? Did I really just sit through an hour and six minutes of Kiana smacking her hand as she butchered Jim Rohn quotes? And then paused after each one—to let it sink in, I guess?—as if she just said something enlightening? I feel like Kiana would be mopping fast food floors if she didn’t look a little bit like Salma Hayek. Am I right? Like did I miss something or is her business model: be good-looking, get on camera, have confidence, say nothing, and tell people to buy your course?

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