Nick Ponte’s been collecting $300 checks from a simple service anyone can offer. Even you. Nick films this particular pitch from a picturesque beach in Maui. It’s about the seventeenth course he and Tom Gaddis, from Offline Sharks, have tried to sell me this week. It’s becoming pretty clear how they make their money. But I’ll try to swallow back my cynicism and hear him out. Scroll down and read on for my Online Revenue System review.

“Tom and I recently found one way to absolutely crush it in business,” Nick says. “It helped us refine one of our best systems yet. Now, this strategy allows us to collect one-time fees or it can be used as a monthly subscription model. This means you can get paid month after month, but the one caveat to this entire thing is, in order to do this, you need to be able to listen carefully and follow directions. [OMG. Please get to the point and stop talking to us like we’re children.]”

“This works for anyone,” Nick continues. “In fact, if you can use a computer and have internet access? You’re in. And I know that sounds amazing enough, but wait till you see what we’ve developed. With this new strategy, you’ll be solving a problem online that basically sells itself because we’re able to target a very specific type of behavior online by using our proprietary software. We’ve done all of the heavy lifting for you. And one of my favorite parts about this strategy is we basically work one time each month.”

“We set up and schedule all of our work in a single day, and yet, we get paid like we’ve worked every single day throughout the month. So the checks just come in each month for only one day of work. You don’t need to be a slick salesman to do this. You don’t need to have a fancy website. You don’t even need to be in the U.S. to do this. And trust me when I say that if I can do this, anybody can. And remember how I said that we’ve been able to identify a specific type of behavior?”

Nick Skyline View

Apparently, once Nick and Tom identified that specific behavior, they went to a software developer and had ’em create a tool so they could cash in on it without doing a bunch of manual work. That tool has now been tested and tweaked and shaped and sanded into money printing perfection, if Nick is to be believed. Which, anyone who sells dozens of different make money online offers, gets your attention with lifestyle marketing, and refuses to offer any specifics whatsoever about what he’s doing? Yeeeah, I believe this guy like I believe the earth is flat.

“We’ll teach you this in our complete members’ area,” Nick adds. “We call it the Online Revenue System. It’s a fusion of exceptional step by step training and cutting-edge software technology. There’s nothing like it out there. And there’s no commitment required on your part when you join our Online Revenue System today. You need to do nothing more than signal your interest by submitting a small payment to get you started. [Wait, what? There’s no commitment necessary… besides me paying you money?]”

Don’t sleep on this, Nick finishes with. The special launch price will only last a few more days. Riiight. Sure it will. These guys will say anything to get you in the door, and then the upselling begins. I love how Nick’s Facebook ad (and even the headline on the sales page) talked about this “$300 service anybody can profit from,” and then he literally never mentions it again. Not the $300, not the service, nothing. I mean, they must think we’re all a bunch of idiots who’ll buy anything if the promise is big enough and the cost is low enough. I need a drink after that.

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