Tan is a supposed young finance prodigy who cofounded Decentralized Masters. He quit his 6-figure job at an investment bank on Wall Street because of some little-known strategy that earns him checks for thousands of dollars every single day. Sounds believable. Tell me more. Well, it only takes a few clicks, their pitch starts off, and you, too, could be cashing in on this secret, hidden in plain sight, $250 billion dollar industry. Wow. Already this is hard to watch.

“Only 0.02% of the world’s population is participating in this industry,” the voice actor continues. “So far, billionaires are quietly using it to multiply their wealth in record speed, while everyone’s still sleeping on it. And the people who show up early are making lifelong wealth from this opportunity. This industry? Is decentralized finance. You see, retail investors and big hedge funds are chasing small gains every year with high amounts of risk. Smart people taking advantage of decentralized finance are not.”

“They’re enjoying big returns passively, without having to time the market, do any type of complex technical analysis, or even sell their portfolio,” he adds. “They simply copy and paste this done for you secret strategy. And in this video, we’re gonna explain how we’re helping people just like you multiply their wealth faster than ever. But first, let me explain why this is such a big opportunity. One, access for the first time ever. Regular people like you and me have access to the same tools that until now only the gigantic financial institutions had.”

“Two, speed by using such tools. Three, perfect timing. This exploding industry is just getting started. We are witnessing the biggest wealth transfer in history, as the financial landscape is completely redefined. So if you ever wanted to be early to something big, this is it. This is the exact same system my buddy Max, who works at an insurance firm, used to double his salary passively, without having to put in barely any work compared to his day job. Now, you already know that all investments have risk.”

Ferrari Defi

This? Not so much. It’s one of the most surefire ways to take your spare money and turn it into FU money. Or, you could just keep doing what you’ve been doing: losing about half your money to inflation every few years. But what if you could make money the same way the banks do? “With this new upcoming decentralized economic cycle,” what’s his face says, “we’re moving into an economy where no middleman is required to intermediate transactions. This means that big institutional banks become obsolete.”

Thanks to DeFi, you can now be the bank for yourself and others. And as a bank, you have the right to print money safely. This is much different than gambling on meme coins and JPEGs. Those are just distractions from what’s really happening behind the scenes. After way too long and way too much jargon, homeboy finally gets to the point. What you’ll be doing is staking your money in liquidity pools. Other people can then use that money in exchange for a yield, plus you get your money back every single time.

You’re protected by smart contracts that are immutable. Nobody can burn you, scam you, or run away with your money. Except Sam Bankman-Fried, apparently. But just ignore that. This complete stranger, Tan, who hired a voice actor to tell you about this amazing loophole, will teach you everything you need to know and definitely won’t steer you wrong. Bahahaha. If this is a fast, easy, virtually untapped way to print money, why would Tan with no last name put this much energy into telling us about it?

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